NOW THAT YOU’RE SOBER… NOW WHAT?

I was at a haunt and horror conference last week. One of those events you go to if you’re in the industry.

I make prosthetics and small horror props. It started as something I did for myself. Then I had the brilliant idea to start selling them. Like most things, I had no idea what I was getting into until I was about $10,000 deep and suddenly running a real business.

But here’s the truth: none of this happens without my sobriety.

A long time ago, some very wise old-timers in AA told me something I didn’t fully understand at the time. They said I could do anything I wanted with my life because I got sober young. They were actually envious of me.

That didn’t make sense back then. These were the guys I looked up to. But somehow, they saw something in me I couldn’t see in myself.

Over the years, I’ve done a lot of different things. Some to make money, some just because I enjoyed them. I’ve played drums. I’ve sold insurance, mortgages, and mutual funds. I built a landscaping business and ran it for about eight years.

My first partner in that business was sober. He taught me almost everything I needed to know. Then, about three months in, he went back out. At that point, I didn’t have much of a choice. I was either going to sink or swim.

So, I worked. Hard.

The next year, I got married. We had a baby on the way. I bought a house, tore it apart, and put it back together while working 60 hours a week mowing lawns, laying sod, and taking on small design jobs.

I remember one day at the nursery where I bought my materials. The owner was also in the program. He looked at me and said, “Didn’t you just buy a house, and don’t you have a kid on the way?”

I said, “Yeah.”

He shook his head and said, “How the hell are you going to get all this done?”

My answer was the same then as it is now.

“I’ll just do it.”

I didn’t know how. I just knew it would get done. And it did.

The business grew. I picked up sprinkler work. Another landscaper brought me in on snow removal. I landed a large contract maintaining a two-building apartment complex in Queens.

I wasn’t getting rich, but I was making a good living. My wife had a solid job at a law firm, thanks to someone in AA who saw her potential and gave her a shot.

Life was good. Until it wasn’t.

Addiction showed up in my life again, but this time it wasn’t me. My wife started struggling with pills, and eventually that became a major problem in our marriage. That chapter ended in divorce. It was a long time ago, but it was real.

Sobriety didn’t make my life perfect. But it gave me the ability to get through it. It gave me the ability to keep going.

Looking back, the one thing I’ve learned about myself is this: I love to build.

I love building things. Businesses. Skills. A life. Some of it works. Some of it doesn’t. But I keep building. And that only happens because I stay sober.

So, if you’re newly sober and standing there thinking, “Okay… now what?” here’s my suggestion.

Find something you enjoy. Get yourself a decent job. Start building something on the side.

Maybe one day that thing you love becomes your full-time life. Maybe it doesn’t. But either way, you’ll be moving forward.

Just remember this: none of it happens unless you stay sober.

Keep it simple and keep coming back.

Here’s what else caught my attention this week in recovery.

TOP STORIES

ON SCREEN & IN YOUR EARS

Films:
What It Takes is touring nationally and shining a light on addiction, recovery, and redemption.
https://www.whatittakesmovie.com

Kratom: Side Effects May Include continues the conversation around public health and substance use.

Podcasts:
AA Recovery Interviews featured Nancy K. with 53 years sober.
https://recoveryinterviews.com

Recovery Elevator released Episode #581.
https://www.recoveryelevator.com/podcasts/

Sober Cast continues to offer audio speaker meetings and recovery talks.
https://sobercast.com

VOICES & COMMUNITY

Unshaming by Jowita Bydlowska explores relapse, shame, and healing with brutal honesty.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/237693611-unshaming

Community spotlight: District 216 is hosting an Addiction & Psychedelics event on May 9 in Santa Barbara.

ROCovery Fitness continues to provide daily activities and support for the sober community.
https://www.rocoveryfitness.org

AA HISTORY THIS WEEK

In May 1935, Bill W. met Dr. Bob in Akron, Ohio, beginning the relationship that led to the formation of Alcoholics Anonymous.

June 10, 1935, the day of Dr. Bob’s last drink, is widely celebrated as the founding date of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Source: https://www.aa.org/the-start-and-growth-of-aa
Source: https://www.aa.org/aa-timeline

CONFERENCES & CONVENTIONS

10th Albir International Convention
Spain, April 30 - May 3, 2026
https://alcoholics-anonymous.eu/events/category/convention/list/

33rd Falls City Convention
Louisville, KY, May 15 - 16, 2026
https://loukyaa.org/events/

Western Roundup Living Sober (LGBTQIA+)
San Francisco, July 10 - 12, 2026
https://livingsober.org

THIS WEEK’S REFLECTION: THE FREEDOM OF THE PAUSE

“Our first objective will be the development of self-restraint. This carries a top priority rating. When we speak or act hastily or rashly, the ability to be forgiving and tolerant evaporates on the spot.”
— Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Ten, p. 91

In our drinking days, most of us were a bundle of raw nerves and hair-trigger reactions. If we felt an itch, we scratched it. If someone insulted us, we hit back with a word or a bottle. Most of us lacked the filter that allowed us to be the people we actually wanted to be.

The program gives us a simple tool: the pause. When we are agitated, we stop. We breathe. We step back. This is not weakness. It is not avoidance. It is spiritual survival. The pause creates room for grace, room for perspective, and room for a better decision.

When we pause, we stop being victims of impulse and start becoming participants in our own lives. Sometimes the difference between peace and chaos is just a few seconds of silence.

Practice:
Wait for the coffee to brew before responding to that text or email.
Breathe before answering when someone cuts you off in traffic.

Question:
Where am I rushing to react today, and what might happen if I gave myself five seconds of silence first?

Further Reading:
The Big Book
https://www.aa.org/the-big-book

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
https://www.aa.org/twelve-steps-twelve-traditions

AA Grapevine
https://www.aagrapevine.org

STEP WORK LAB

STEP OF THE WEEK:
Step Ten - “Continued to take personal inventory...”

SPONSORSHIP CORNER:
A sponsor helps the newcomer work the steps, not manage their finances, relationships, or therapy.

OLDTIMER WISDOM:
“The longest journey you’ll ever take is the 18 inches from your head to your heart.”

TOOLBOX: HALT
Check whether you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

PROMISE OF THE WEEK:
“We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”
— Big Book, p. 84

RESEARCH & NEWS

The White House issued an executive order aimed at accelerating investigational treatments for serious mental illness, while the broader federal approach to addiction and public disorder continues to shift in a more enforcement-heavy direction.

Source: https://www.whitehouse.gov/fact-sheets/2026/04/fact-sheet-president-donald-j-trump-is-accelerating-medical-treatments-for-serious-mental-illness/

I’m glad you’re here. If you’re struggling, pick up the phone. It’s lighter than it looks. Until next week, keep your seat warm.

Crisis Resources:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
1-800-662-HELP (SAMHSA)